Sunday, June 04, 2006
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
How to properly piss-off New Yorkers...
Around 5:30 this evening, I boarded the usual elevator car on the 14th floor. Two individuals were in the car before I entered and they executed the usual shuffle to make room for my six foot frame with man-purse over my left shoulder. On the eighth floor, our fourth patron of elevator hell entered the fray and i moved to the corner to stand in front of the floor buttons. I made myself busy in a cramped area and tried to supress my fear of small spaces by scanning my iPod. During my shuffle for sanity via MP3 selections, I inadvertely bumped the buttons of floors 5-4-3-2 of the elevator with my man-purse.
When the doors opened on the fifth floor, all patrons did that unconscious shuffle forward and realized that their destination was still several floors below them. The fourth floor brought suspicion to their eyes of my action. The third floor confirmed my cluminess. I tried to shrug it off and avoid all stares. The second floor brought about an ire reserved for Star Wars fan without tickets to premiere night of "Revenge of the Sith". The kicker. At the second floor, the elevator went straight back up to the 14th floor.
As the numbers rose back to number 14, I thought - "How would my death come at the hands of three strangers in a space the size of a New York city apartment closet". Would they consume me complete and raise a glass in some pub hours later in celebration of my demise. The cold stare of Female #2 drove splinters in my psyche as the car headed back down to deliver its brood of angry infants.
Thankfully, no blood was spilled and I was able to leave without bloody scars to serve as remembrance of the proper way to make a New Yorker's day even worse than it was when they got up in the morning.
When the doors opened on the fifth floor, all patrons did that unconscious shuffle forward and realized that their destination was still several floors below them. The fourth floor brought suspicion to their eyes of my action. The third floor confirmed my cluminess. I tried to shrug it off and avoid all stares. The second floor brought about an ire reserved for Star Wars fan without tickets to premiere night of "Revenge of the Sith". The kicker. At the second floor, the elevator went straight back up to the 14th floor.
As the numbers rose back to number 14, I thought - "How would my death come at the hands of three strangers in a space the size of a New York city apartment closet". Would they consume me complete and raise a glass in some pub hours later in celebration of my demise. The cold stare of Female #2 drove splinters in my psyche as the car headed back down to deliver its brood of angry infants.
Thankfully, no blood was spilled and I was able to leave without bloody scars to serve as remembrance of the proper way to make a New Yorker's day even worse than it was when they got up in the morning.
Monday, May 01, 2006
I miss California
Let's go California & let's accomplish a real Mission! -- Get the monkeyboyout of office!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
In a drunken punchup of a wedding...
Your favorite monkey boy has a Thursday morning present for ya!
Radiohead: Live at Earl's Court -- 11.26.03
Enjoy...my young lasses and lads.
Radiohead: Live at Earl's Court -- 11.26.03
Enjoy...my young lasses and lads.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Shoot the Puck!
It's hard being a San Jose Sharks fan in New York City.
I was at a bar last night in the West Village - The Riviera Sports Bar - watching my beloved Sharks take on the Nashville Predators. The bar's beer selections is as dangerous as Ryan Seacrest interviewing Sarah Jessica Parker on red carpet and thankfully, the bartender tossed the game on the big screen with the added bonus of hearing the game called by my favorite guys behind the mics Randy Hahn with color commentator Drew Remenda
Life is so lonely when you are screaming "GOAL!" at the top of your lungs in an empty sports bar at midnight.
Where's Bukowski when I need him.
I was at a bar last night in the West Village - The Riviera Sports Bar - watching my beloved Sharks take on the Nashville Predators. The bar's beer selections is as dangerous as Ryan Seacrest interviewing Sarah Jessica Parker on red carpet and thankfully, the bartender tossed the game on the big screen with the added bonus of hearing the game called by my favorite guys behind the mics Randy Hahn with color commentator Drew Remenda
Life is so lonely when you are screaming "GOAL!" at the top of your lungs in an empty sports bar at midnight.
Where's Bukowski when I need him.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Dude, where's my hand?
Did I leave it in my overnight bag or in the glove compartment? -- All together now....let's say "creepy"!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
"When there is no more room in hell...."
Saturday night was tops in the rainy city of Manhattan. The Makor Theatre in the UWS screened an excellent double-feature of Rob Zombie's current film roster - House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects. Bonus was the Q&A with Ken Foree - star of Romero's cult zombie film Dawn of the Dead between and after the films. Solid stories from Foree - a character actor whose career includes various stints with episodic television shows, cult horror films, and a couple of Richard Pryor films. I shook his hand at the end of the screenings and told him that if the zombies show up tomorrow, I'm giving him a a call.
Way way geek.
Way way geek.
